We know when a person is angry, upset, unstable, not to engage them in conversation till they calm down…at least if we want to have sane conversation…..
How is it then we do not do the same with children….why do we give immediate attention to a child when he or she is throwing tantrums, crying hysterically, trying to communicate in the midst of their sobs and yells…and we try either to pacify, or interpret, or yell back or force an issue?
[I am not referring to emergency or life and death incidents…where immediate attention should rightfully be given.]
The most appropriate response to a highly emotionally charged child is to let them chill out first.
Actually parents ought to tell their children way ahead of any incidences how they will handle highly emotional behaviour, to show the children that they have a clear thinking on handling such matters. That is whenever the children behave very emotionally, Mom and Dad will not communicate or respond but will send them to the ‘restore corner’ [designated space for child to sit which must be the same exact spot and consistently practised] and only when they calm down, then communication will begin.
Parents, if you care for your children’s future, when you are no longer around or when they are not by your side, teach them how to contain their emotion, how to handle highly charged environment. If you shield them, if you fight on their behalf, you are living their life for them… so how does the following saying fit?
"teach me how to fish, instead of fishing for me…”
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