I struggle much with how my character flaws keep getting in the way of progress of what i want to accomplish…
I get upset and become impatient. My mood affects everyone around me. The situation spirals and I am just completely spent….and nothing is changed…
This week has been just one of those weeks that got me discouraged and depressed. I am better than before in that I can recognise the thoughts and associated behaviours and therefore can decide to arrest them after a couple of hours….instead of days in yesteryears…
However, this time, i got a big ‘aha’ – a breakthrough. I have been reading and listening to teachings that got me released….by accepting my humanity. I should take my eyes off my problems, off myself, off others and put them completely on Jesus. It is the cracks in me, the clay that is full of holes that Jesus can radiate his holiness. I am challenged to accept and believe that Jesus is equally as present when i am doing fine as when i made lots of boo-boo. It is only when i am weak, and am humbly dependent on Him, and out of Jesus’ way, that He does the most marvellous thing in my life.
Simply I believe Jesus loves me all the time, unconditionally, regardless of my error of ways….His love will lead me home to Him.
When i forget Jesus’ love for me, i fall apart. When i am filled with Jesus’ love, the cracks are fine. I accept the ‘holes’ that make me more holy.
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