That is the title of a book in a bookshop that caught my attention. Though I did not have time to browse through that book, I cannot help agreeing with it.
There are those who genuinely believe in being nice, and there are those who use ‘niceness’ to manipulate their way through circumstances. Either way, I have seen how niceness does not pay off.
Early in my journey of moving up the management ranks, I noticed that people say nice things about nice people and bad things about those who do not focus on being ‘nice’. We all know some managers in our journey who fit with the ‘nice’ category and those who fit the ‘ugly’ category.
But I also noticed years after the nice words were spoken of the nice manager, the words do change, the nice manager could also be badly spoken of.
So the book title ‘ Do no be nice, be real’ resonates with me. Anyone expected to lead will have to see beyond the immediate demands of the squeakiest wheel [specific individual] and put the communal good of everyone and for the business, constantly weighing ethical, business and values … invariably someone will not be happy, someone will complain, someone will throw a fit …….
I personally enjoy working with ‘real’ people, and my previous bosses who were ‘real’ got my full trust more than those who are nice. Leaders, more than managers, have to lead a pack to conquer a battle, and continue to be the victor in that arena. Leaders have to do things that are not popular and they see things others may not be able to see. It is lonely at the top, so they say.
So, i concur that being real is more important, and besides it takes no effort to be real but much effort to be nice. Being nice does not always bring the returns ie people may not like the nice leader / manager, and may not have good words to say……so is it useful and fruitful?
Being real to one self and to all, truly can help me to be useful and fruitful.
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