Praises and criticisms….

I discovered something interesting as I mulled over some recent events.

Taking myself back to my own earlier days, [many moons ago], I was stuck in the same paradigm then. My thought framework then would not allow me to accept praises, much less to store praises in my long term memory. Though secretly, I cherish it. It was like a bottomless pit with an insatiable appetite, I simply wanted more and more but ironically not appreciating that which had already been given.

The opposite is also true. Any criticism [no matter how small or even constructive ones] became magnified and would constantly and deeply overshadow all things rosy.

So, I am now interacting with a group of individuals struggling with the same thought framework. They have a hard time remembering the praises given to them but can only remember the criticisms and all things negative.

That got me thinking why is this so? Then comes my theory…..

Those whose native language is ‘praise’ will recognise the ‘praise’ language I used and will delight in having that communication and we will go on for long to create beautiful memories together.

Those whose native language is ‘insecurity’ will not recognise the language ‘praise’ and will stay out of communication until they recognise the language they know – that of ‘attack’. The moment the berating, the negative feedback is used, those with command of the ‘insecurity’ language will suddenly recognise and respond, the memory recorder will go at top speed. They will log every word that has negative impact to the degree that the foreign language of ‘praise’ is completely forgotten.

That is my theory, of course i can be wrong. My only solace is people do change because I know I have.
When they have learnt the language of praise, they will recognise the words of praise…….