24 Jul 2009

Demanding environment shapes…

Recently, my doctor [General Practitioner] told me that when her Mom caned her and her sisters when they were children, she would purposely caned in areas that were visible to public / classmates. Her Mom would purposely fray the ends of the cane to increase the degree of pain.

A few days ago, a successful self-made businessman was interviewed on TV and he said his father would use a wood pole to wake up the kids who would not wake up ie no room for laziness.

I am also a product of severe corporal punishment.

In all these 3 cases, we are successful in our respective vocations – disciplined, hardworking, and normal functioning beings.

There is a place for discipline. There is a place to expect or place demands on children to conform to values that will serve them well the rest of their life.

Hope that the above 3 examples, amongst many, indicate clearly that it is not true that if we use the cane or are exacting in our training of children [or of trainees], they will turn out to be emotionally or forever scarred.

Conversely, giving children the impression that they are the kings of the universe by giving in to their every beck and call and over protecting them, robs them of resilience.

In the days ahead, resilience [emotional, mental, physical, spiritual] is the main differentiator, not intellect, riches, not looks nor who you know.

For your children’s sake, allow them to go through some hardship. Seriously!

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Quotations:

God starts us out on a life course to fulfill a certain purpose and then, only when we are ready, He gives us course corrections. Like a good river pilot, He steers us away from troubled waters, and like a good coach, He never puts us in the game until we are ready. The journey is never boring.

REMEMBER THIS ABOUT YOU...

  Read this out loud to yourself, and mean it!!

  I am precious, valuable, lovable and capable.
  The world will not be the same without me.
  I make a difference in this world, in the community I live in.
  I can make another person smile.
  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
  I sing for I am loved by a great God whose nature is to give  love, mercy and grace.

  [In Hindi]
  Mai amulya hoon.
  Yeh duniya mayray bina wahi nahin rahegi.
  Mayray hone say is duniya mein kuch badlav hai.
  Mujh se doosre ke chahre pay muskuraahat aati hai.
  Mujhe bhayankar se banaya gaya hai.
  Mujhe gaana hai ki ek mahaan; ishwhar mujhe pyaar karte.
  Hain aur mayray prati daya dikhaate hain.