21 Jun 2009

50 and 15

This is the worst combination of age groups between 2 generations in a single family. Any idea why?

I look back, when I was in my early twenties, my Mom was in her forties [20 years apart]. On reflecting, I realised the potential for family warfare was heightened by the physiological changes of 2 generations. [I was a late bloomer so my emotional swings were still present in my early 20s, aggravated by many other factors.]

Ladies [now men too] in the 40s / 50s go through hormonal unbalance and teenagers go through theirs in their mid teens. So parents [especially those in Singapore] who often focus on Cambridge ‘O’ and ‘A’ levels to decide when they will have their 2nd baby [2 years apart means both kids in critical exams at same time] and those who delay starting a family, you might be interested to consider this.

I got thinking about this because I am going through the hormonal imbalance now and the effects are well documented.

Each morning I will wake up poorly rested, with a ‘fire’ burning between my ears. My temperature, however, according to thermometer, is 36.6 thereabouts. The hot and humid weather now, makes the inner heat very difficult to handle.

Short term memory is disappearing, sigh, and long-sightedness becomes a bother [forgot to pack my reading glasses during the recent trip to Bangalore – totally handicapped]. Sudden tiredness, like a system shut down which one has no control over, will hit whenever. The best thing to do is let the system shut down for 15 minutes and reboot after that. Not to forget, irritability. Sudden attack of itch all over with no plausible cause.. many more mysteries.

The point is not to dwell on the symptoms but rather about Mothers and their children. Mothers, who are not aware of the effect of menopause [and of course their children are clueless], will have a hard time handling teenagers who are in the rebelling stage.

It is important to identify and separate those emotions that are not related to their teenage sons or daughters who are themselves struggling with identity, male-female relationships, skin problems etc.

Many Moms, back in the 60s / 70s, did not know and had no way of knowing so they dealt with both sets of emotions as one potpourri [rojak, as we would say it in Singapore]. Messy!

So, ladies, if you have children, especially those who are in the teens, please read up and be attentive to your body’s physiological state, handle it with understanding and do not let the emotions go out of hand.

I am thankful to God – He has helped me to handle the symptoms ie I know when I have over-reacted and would apologise. I am also thankful that I am single because I only have me to deal with when I am very irritable. [I have the noise of the construction next door for 8 hours everyday for all 7 days to amplify the irritability].

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REMEMBER THIS ABOUT YOU...

  Read this out loud to yourself, and mean it!!

  I am precious, valuable, lovable and capable.
  The world will not be the same without me.
  I make a difference in this world, in the community I live in.
  I can make another person smile.
  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
  I sing for I am loved by a great God whose nature is to give  love, mercy and grace.

  [In Hindi]
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  Yeh duniya mayray bina wahi nahin rahegi.
  Mayray hone say is duniya mein kuch badlav hai.
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  Hain aur mayray prati daya dikhaate hain.