Hurting people bite

Some years ago, I heard an interesting story [if memory serves me well, it is a true story].

It was told by an American Pastor visiting in Singapore. He said one night after a long day, he and his family were on the way home from church. In the dark, the car’s headlights drew their attention to a squirrel lying in the middle of the road. As the car passed by, they realised the animal had been injured by an earlier vehicle. The Pastor drove on but his children begged him incessantly not to leave the squirrel in the middle of the road less another car run over it.

With much reluctance, he said, he got down and tried to lift the injured squirrel. Before he could touch the poor thing, it fiercely sank its teeth on the Pastor’s fingers. The Pastor, in pain, started to shake his hands wildly to shake off the terrified squirrel. Out of sheer desperation, the Pastor found a nearby tree and started to swing his hand towards the tree, hoping that the squirrel will let go with that impact.

He said [assuming the squirrel did let go, this I cannot recall] suddenly it occurred to him the irony of the entire episode. He meant to help the poor injured squirrel. Instead, he ended up banging it against a tree trunk.

There are many injured people around us. Their deep hurts - which are not yet healed and the degree of which being well masqueraded - make them vulnerable. They are likely to be very defensive as a result. They ‘bite’ and very painfully too.

Most of us would have met someone like this sometime in our life. It can be a real enigma. Do you try to help because such a person need help or do you stay away from them because they ‘bite’?

I personally would help but with both eyes open. I know that the person is hurting and will need time. I would expect to be bitten and willingly step into the relationship, with love. I will not try to change the person or put a date or expectations on him / her. I will choose to embrace the thorns and warts and all. But I will not decide carelessly. I will ask God to help me because unless God tells me what to do with whom, I will not have the patience, compassion and wisdom to act.

Hurting people need love and acceptance but in their fear, they push people away. I know because I used to be like that.

Sadly, there are many people who do not understand hurting people and, like the Pastor who tried to shake off the injured squirrel, end up hurting the person they tried to help.

We must take our eyes off ourselves if we want to come alongside hurting people.