Recently at an event, I was praising a piece of well done work, conscious not to focus on the person but the work. On reflection of my action, my intent was NOT to praise one person over another or to compare one person’s talent with another. Everyone’s work was good and each showed his or her talents. And each talent was obviously different.
The idea of praising the particular piece of work was to recognise a certain standard. The remark was made after having praised each piece of work for its own merit.
An observer at the event very quickly made a remark ‘everyone’s work is good.’ I noticed her reasoning and speed of response. [She was not there when I had affirmed the other pieces of work.]
That got me thinking. Was I wrong in praising a piece of work and in the process point to a ‘standard’? Is it so important to make sure we praise everybody in the group equally, avoid offending anyone, and be seen to be accepting?
Let me generalise, is the act of upholding a standard and praising an exemplary piece of work equivalent to putting down all the rest? What if I rewarded the one who excelled, would there be an outcry?
If we take on this type of thinking, we will become reluctant to point out a standard, point out errors and set course correction, if any. Everyone will FEEL good but is that the ultimate good?
It was an activity for 2-year olds and younger! Of course I will not make perfection the standard but I will point out a nice piece of work.
I grew up with the old school of practice where direct comparisons were made and unkind words were said – honestly it did not kill me. I grew up and God gave me the right perspective.
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