Where am I heading?

I recently travelled to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for a short 4-day break before the new work year begins. I did not say ‘before the rat race begin’ because as someone rightfully pointed out... those who join the rat race – even if they win the race – can only be congratulated, satisfied or reckoned with the fact that they are ‘rats’.

After a long challenging life journey, I most certainly do not want to end up just being a rat. That is not what I envisage as my eulogy. No please, I do not want to hear this eulogy after I expired:

‘Poh Moi was a busy rat, always running, always chasing after some novel rodent goals. She was always not at rest because the wheel of her life was always in a spin. Anyone visiting with her also got caught in the turning wheel.

Her conversations and views were limited to what the wheel of life allowed her to perceive. She clocked many good miles, accomplished many life’s expected tasks, like all good rats. She did not try to break out of the cage, nor change any of the routines because she was a very compliant rodent.

She will be remembered together with many of the earlier founding rats for keeping the wheel turning in the same exact way for countless years!

Rest in peace, successful rat!’

Perhaps God would allow me to have the following eulogy, one that I would work towards:

‘Poh Moi chose to be the head, not the tail in her life journey.

She did not join the masses and followed trends. She had a clear idea of her inheritance – who she was, her purpose, her destination....She lived her life in accordance to her inheritance. Because she had embraced her identity and was confident in that identity, she faced every challenge that came her way, unwavering in her faith. She shared her resources freely with whoever had needs because she knew the resources were given to her for that purpose. She was always speaking of the wisdom of God and its importance to all life’s decisions.

She helped her friends to see the importance of choices and subsequent consequences in life. She spent her time designing materials to help decision makers to make informed decisions.

In her training engagements, she endeavoured to influence beyond the classroom. She imparted insights, equipped fellow men with life skills.

She was a friend to the down and out, the unlovable......’

I think eh, that is sufficient to get the point across.

My personal choices, my will, my deliberate actions and obedience to God will determine which of the 2 eulogies I will receive when my time is up.

Actually, it is not my eulogy that will affect my life’s decisions though it would play a significant part. For me, my life’s decisions are very dependent on what I would say to God when I see Him face to face [upon death]. He will hold me accountable for how i lived my life and the words I spoke, thoughts I harboured, and the behaviours I exhibited. At that moment, I cannot point the finger to anyone or circumstances. So, in every decision, to my best ability, I will commit to God. I would be lying if I do not say that there are times when I choose not to or fail to commit.

But I am but a vapour in the Almighty’s scheme of things, here now and gone tomorrow. I can be of no significance since my lifespan is short and finite, unless, I have a clear mandate and be given authority to carry out the mandate.

As I become clear of that God-given mandate, I begin to notice the natural talents / abilities endowed for that purpose. Looking back on the learning journey since school, it is also clear how each of the experiences prepared me for today.

Making time to reflect helps me to note the area of strengths that people have noticed and commented on over the years. These areas of strengths greatly support what I do. What I do well depends on my attitude and passion. I need to put a trace on my passions. – what are they, where are they?

Follow my passion – the thing that I spent a lot of time on, and love doing, typically it meets a personal satisfaction, reaches out to others, has deeper and farther reaching effects.

I believe those who are married, must include the responsibility of being a spouse as part of that passion. Those who are parents must also include parenting / their children as part of that passion. It goes the same for grandparents, bosses, teachers, doctors, etc.

One must trace it and find the source of the passion, and live it. [This type of loving and serving passion obviously is different from the destructive passions.]

Only when I serve out of a deep passion, will I give my all, selflessly, unconditionally, and without expectations. I will have no regrets; I will not burn out; and there will be no grudges.

Thank God I am not stagnant.